Well, it happened. That uncomfortable situation that no woman (especially myself) wants to find herself in post-partum. Keith and I went out to dinner tonight. As she was clearing the table, our waitress smiled at me and asked, “So when are you due?” Ouch. In her defense I will say that I do still have a bit of a belly on me, and the dress I was wearing had an empire-waist (which when sitting down, I’ve learned, clearly accentuates that). She definitely caught me off guard, though, and before I could think I blurted out, “Actually I just had a baby a few weeks ago.” It was definitely an insert-foot-in-mouth moment and she proceeded to tell me I looked great for just having a baby and she actually thought I was just a few months pregnant. Super. And of course the obvious question then followed: Where’s your baby?
I felt a wave of panic building up. Crap! Why did I tell her that? I thought. “He’s at home. Someone’s watching him,” I lied.
“Oh, well how nice for you guys to get out!” she exclaimed.
I managed to maintain my composure as we paid and left before crying in the car. Not just because I feel fat and have a constant reminder of my pregnancy still looming on my mid-section. I cried because I so badly wanted what I had said to be true. I wish we did have a baby and someone was watching him at home. But we don’t. I know that this situation could present itself again in the next few weeks or months until I lose the last of the remaining baby bump, and I just hope I can handle it as well as I did tonight.
Love,
Ashley
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I wish it could be true for you as well!
ReplyDeleteI have found myself coming up with lies after having my son, as not embarass myself. When I was 8 months PP, two people asked me in one day when I was due. I had thought I looked pretty good that day. I was so embarassed that I told them that I was due in Janurary. Then I let them gush on about how brave I was to have another one when my DS was so young. lol.
Sometimes we've just got to lie to make ourselves feel better.
You don't know me. I found your blog on the Living with Trisomy website. My heart goes out to you and your husband, your entire family. Just from your blog I can tell you are a beautiful, kind, loving soul. I've enjoyed all of your tummy photos throughout your pregnancy and have marveled at your courage. I'm so sorry for what you've all been through. Heaven will the mysteries explain. I saw Ethan's pics and he is a beautiful boy. Created in love, to dwell above. Ethan made you a mommy and a daddy. Nothing can ever change that. Keep your strong faith, hold onto your loving marriage, and God wll carry you through this. Your journey continues even after Ethan's birth, and there will still be hard days, like the one you posted here. But I know you will have joy in your life again. It might not feel like it right now, but I promise, you will. God bless all of you!
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