A Stressful Start to The Day

Over the past several days (and really weeks), I've noticed a change in the type and frequency of Ethan's movements. I no longer have been feeling the usual "pops" I would feel when lying down or just after a meal. Instead I've noticed more feelings of pressure, as though part of him was pressing against me. And I started to feel like I wasn't noticing movement as much throughout the day as I did many weeks ago. I've read in my books that around this time movement can change, but in the past few days I began to get a little nervous. This weekend I started to think I wasn't feeling him hardly at all. The doctors and books all talk about doing the kick count where you lie down and count movements over the course of a 2 hour timespan. You should feel at least 10 movements in that time. Part of me got really nervous and wondered, "Have I even felt 10 movements this whole day?" It was really beginning to freak me out.

This morning I decided to call my OB's office. I originally had an appointment scheduled for Thursday, but I decided my anxiety was getting the best of me. They told me to come right in, and I called Keith to let him know I was going. Although I was panicky, I didn't necessarily feel like he needed to come...I guess I didn't quite have that dreadful gut instint. I mean, I was pretty sure I had at least felt some movement in the last 24 hours. But when you start worrying, your mind plays tricks on you. So during the drive there I prayed to God that there would be a heartbeat. And I also prayed that I would be prepared to handle the possibility that there might not be. My stomach was in knots. I got right in and actually saw a different doctor because mine was not available. The first thing he did was listen for the heartbeat. Praise God, he found it in seconds and it was a healthy 144 bpm! He also took the time to talk with me about everything, and recommended that I start packing a bag at this point, since I'm just about 34 weeks. He also talked to me about making a plan for what Keith and I wanted to happen for Ethan after birth, and communicating that again with the Neonatal staff. For some reason I think I was feeling like we didn't have any control over what might happen to Ethan, but this doctor let me know that we do have the power to say what kind of care we want for him. For instance, if we want him intubabted or if we want compressions done if he's not breathing on his own. I now plan on calling the neonatal doctor again and either arranging a meeting or discussing our plans with her so everyone is on the same page with what we'd like to have done. I felt like he was really informative and helped me to see that we still have some say in this whole thing.

And wouldn't you know it, while we were talking I felt a pretty major movement on my left side. Leave it to Ethan to do that after I had driven all the way there! I kind of felt like he was being the WB Frog who doesn't sing in front of people and makes you look crazy (anyone remember that cartoon??). But I was oh so grateful for that nonetheless! :)

Love,
Ashley